豁妍開朗

New chapter

2010-04-18T22:18:00.001-07:00

My heart was longing for this installation worship. As my previous pastor from RCAC retired and carried on to his calling to serve church among this district, my new pastor in CAC is diligently follow His calling to serve with our community. My heart felt gratitude to see my 2 pastors encouraged each other in The Truth and in fellowship. If I had a pompom in my hands, I'd cheer aloud ... :) :) :)

Following the path the God anoints in our lives is never an easy path, indeed there are more hurdles along the way ... yet ... only by His Grace that we can walk on, only by His Grace that our strengths and love endure, only to Him we serve.

The holy spirit prompts me to prayer more reverently than ever for my beloved brothers and sisters in our new church. Lord, have mercy on us ... flood our hearts and souls with gratitude for the Salvation and may the Salvation be the strength we serve and live for you in the place we are called to work and to serve. Have mercy on us ...

療傷處，成長階

2009-12-27T20:55:00.000-08:00

又要重新適應新教會生活了。不是我又要到外面生活，而是要跟一班弟兄姊妹分堂 ...

今天早上最後一次在城北930am崇拜，真是百般滋味在心頭。
在城北不是很多年日，但是在好幾年前很需要躲起來專心敬拜去安靜時，上帝卻帶我到這兒 ...
到今時今日，我還是記得城北給我的好幾個印象 ... 其中，帶給我最多安慰的是每個禮拜余牧師的證道 ...
令我覺得講篇好又substance 的道當然好 ... 但是講篇能stir up令會眾渴慕更多的道更難 ...
but during those days which I needed God the most ... He brought me to a place which stirred up my appetite for God's words. God healed in His Truth.

A place where God blessed me with many lifelong fellowships ... partnership in His Kingdom.

The idea of going to the new church is still somewhat surreal ... even when we are 1 week away from starting new again ...

May God's Spirit lead our way as we worship and be servants of His use and for His Glory in this City.

I am ready to move on ... he is too ... God, have mercy upon us ...

In search of the keys

2009-12-23T19:01:00.000-08:00

A analogy came to mind today at work ...

I feel like finding the right key for people that God brought to me everyday. I just have so much curiosity in seeing if He wants me to find the right set of keys to unlock the unspoken and unheard souls ... there are just times when God doesn't want me to find the set of keys for those hearts ... but ... He'd give me connection to hook people up with the right resource to go on with their search. At times, He will just give me the key to ask the exact perfect question to open another door ... yet ... there are times when He would let me feel stuck ...!

How can I not abandon myself in His Hands everyday in dealing with those who are severely and chronically wounded.

This game of finding the right set of keys is very fun ... yet ... very tiring ...

By the end of the day, you felt that you've exerted so much and wonder what's left in you to move on ...
that's when I go home and be healed and rested before I return to the battlefield the next morning.

Heart-work is hard work ...

As I was driving home today, I suddenly realized I could NEVER be able to this work on my own ...
It's because of the love from my families, the empathy of my husband, the unfailing support of the friendships that I am able to do this work. So basically, all of you are my colleagues in a way backing me up to walk on this path the God calls me to walk on ... I am loved and blessed (which most of the people I see everyday could never say and feel it ... but I DO).

If you remember ... pray for my strengeth and endurance :)

你慣了嗎?

2009-12-22T23:10:00.000-08:00

自一個月前結婚後
聽得最多的問題 “你習慣結婚生活未呀？“
一個好深奧的問題
結果
我也custom made了一個答安回應 "慣緊"

當我用了很多年頭認識上帝所創造的我時
當我終於comfortable with my own being
結婚的念頭在我倆心中出現
又牽起new learnings
When you thought you finally pulled your life together as ONE
You realized you are actually on the path of merging of TWO and transform into ONE (the ONE that is different from the old) again.

This transformation will never get static, unless you choose to let it remains.

Now, Yes, I am not fully used to this newly wed life ...
But the hardest part is never learning about who do laundry, who take the garbage out ...
but learning to give up self in a loving intention to learn to merge with someone you love, and who love you dearly ...

I don't know if I am making any sense ...
but I realized I get asked by this philosophical questions so many times from many of my loving friends and folks.
So, when I answer 慣緊 ... it just mean that I take your probing in a serious way :)

Long returns

2009-12-21T23:06:00.000-08:00

久違了的 blog, 一直好想寫，but it's just been so much that I wanted to write that a 'start' is always hard and got buried by many other errands.

Out of all changes in my life over the past year ...
with the transformation from LongLong to So-Long the greatest of all ...

So ya ... Miss Long is married to a very loving husband that God made specially for her :)

會心微笑

2009-07-19T15:37:00.000-07:00

太久沒寫blog, 不是沒什麼好寫，而是太忙了 ...

但有一件令我會心微笑的事，不得不寫 ...

我跟Ken每個禮拜到星期五都累到ready to collapse. 那個星期五，我說好晚飯後會過他家，

但是，說真，當你showered, 吃過飯，換了衣服，再要出去真是有點點不願。後來，我告訴他我不過去了 ...

收線後，我再想，那熱的晚上，我去買紅豆雪條到他家給他都幾好bor

結過，我開車買完紅豆雪條再到他家，看不了他的車子在Carport ... 心想不妙

打電話給他 ...

他一接電話就說:“你在哪？”

我說： “我在你家”

他說： “我也是”

我說： “我以為你累透，就不如我到你家嘛”

他說： “我也以為你累透，就不如我到你家唷！”

哈哈哈哈 ... 結果，我們也選定在我家分享紅豆雪條 ...

再加 d d 很關心大家的會心微笑 ...

Ducklings ...

2009-05-19T21:03:00.000-07:00

好經典!

2009-05-10T00:43:00.000-07:00

Hum ...?!

2009-04-13T23:21:00.000-07:00

both clips claimed that they are 'real' ... what's real?

Ocean will part - Hillsong

2009-04-11T10:32:00.000-07:00

Ocean will part - Hillsong

If my heart has grown cold

There your love will unfold

As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

When I'm blind to my way

There your Spirit will pray

As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

Ocean will part, nation come

At the whisper of Your call

Hope will rise, glory shown

In my life, Your will be done

Present suffering may pass

Lord, Your mercy will last

As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

And my heart will find praise

I'll delight in Your way

As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

Simple praise ...

2009-04-03T16:44:00.000-07:00

We always praise God for the wonders of His works, providence, and guidance. It's not a bad thing! Yet, when I had my devotional morning walk along the dyke this early morning, stream of praise just flooded my soul and outpours through my prayers of praise. I just want to praise God for He is Lord and His Name is worthy to be praised. Nothing more, but to praise ...

This Psalm came to my mind:

Psalms 147

How good it is to sing praises to our God,

how pleasant and fitting to praise Him!!

The Lord builds up Jerusalem;

he gathers the exiles of Isreal.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.

Great is our Lord and mighty in power;

his understanding has no limit.

The Lord sustains the humble but casts the wicked to the ground.

Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving;

make music to our God on the harp.

He covers the sky with clouds;

he supplies the earth with rain and makes grass grow on the hills.

He provides food for the cattle and for the young raven when they call.

His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the legs of a man;

the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.

Extol the Lord, O Jerusalem;

praise your God, O Zion,

for the strengthens the bars of your gates and blesses your people within you.

He grants peace to your borders and satisfies you with the finest of wheat.

He sends his command to the earth;

his word runs swiftly.

He spreads the snow like wool and scatters the frost like ashes.

He hurls down his hail like pebbles.

Who can withstand his icy blast?

He sends his words and melts them;

he stirs up his breezes and the waters flow.

He has revealed his word to Jacob,

his laws and decrees to Isreal.

He has done this for no other nation;

they do not know his laws.

Praise the Lord.

令我生氣的新聞

2009-03-27T08:58:00.000-07:00

不是第一次看到這些新聞

但是 ...

... ... 放過小朋友，可以嗎？

多倫多督察拜恩斯想到起出的兒童色情物品，在記者會上不禁黯然。（加新社）

無良親人性侵孩童淫片上網「分享」
反兒童色情大執法逮57人

2009年3月27日

【明報專訊】全國警方經過3個月深入追查後，偵破加國歷來最大宗的網上兒童色情影像及被性侵犯或性虐待案件，共拘捕57名男子，其中11人來自卑詩省。警方指出，受害人年齡最小的是嬰兒，有些甚至連臍帶都還未剪，部分疑犯是受害人的無良父母、祖父母或親友。警方在電腦DVD和CD所發現影像，數目之多，難以計算，並形容撿獲的兒童色情和被性侵犯照片和視像內容，令人震驚和作嘔，相信將拘捕更多人。

卑詩省多個警區發言人昨日假溫市騎警總部，公布這個全國警方反兒童色情及被性侵犯，代號「齊轟」(Salvo)行動，在卑詩省的執法情況。省整合兒童性剝削調查組發言人雷辛(Rosiane Racine)表示，卑詩警方使用15張搜查令，前往包括列治文、三角洲、新西敏、蘭里、本那比、阿博斯福、Fort Saint John、Quesnel、Prince George、Oak Bay、Colwood及維多利亞市等共12個地方搜查，合共拘捕11名男子，當中4人居住低陸平原。

此外，全國被捕的57人中，23人來自安省、9人來自大西洋省分、4人為阿省，而緬省級魁省各有2人被捕，全部都是男子。東西岸警方同日舉行記者會公布詳情，料將陸續有人被捕。

此外，根據CTV電視台報道，一名男子昨日在阿博斯福法院過堂，但他拒絕回應。

疑犯上網交換錄影及圖片

列市騎警發言人龐德(Jennifer Pound)表示，騎警周三持搜查令調查一處民居，將一名剛返家的30多歲男子拘捕，在寓所內撿獲藏有兒童色情圖片或影像的電腦、DVD和CD等。預料疑犯將被控及於5月出庭應訊。阿博斯福警方也在該市拘捕一名20多歲青年，他涉嫌藏有兒童色情或性侵犯的影像而被控相關罪名。

在昨日溫哥華的記者會上，雷辛語音發抖地說，警方在疑犯的電腦、DVD或CD等，發現涉及兒童色情、被性侵犯或性虐待的視像、影像和照片等。疑犯大部分是成年人，部分疑犯透過互聯網交換兒童色情影像或圖片而互相認識，不過，疑犯之間沒有聯繫，不是一個有組織的犯罪集團。

警方已建議檢控部門控告疑犯性侵犯，以及製造、藏有和分發兒童色情影像等罪名。由於疑犯尚未被正式落案起訴，姓名不能公開。

雷辛指出，大部分疑犯與受害孩童互相認識，他們甚至是受害孩童的父母、祖父母、叔伯、教練等，這些無良的親友，利用小孩對他們的信任，將小孩性侵犯，且更將過程拍攝下來，有照片、有錄影視像，然後放在互聯網上，與「同好」分享，行為令人齒冷。

真實折磨個案

雷辛又形容，警方在電腦、DVD或CD內發現的是兒童色情或被性侵犯圖片及錄影視像，不但恐怖，看罷更令人震驚和作嘔。她表示，視像中的受害人遭性侵犯、強姦、性虐待和折磨，這些都是真實個案，令到受害人身心大受打擊，警方正找尋受害人，並設法將他們拯救出來。不過，暫時相信沒有受害人來自卑詩。

受害人年齡由還未剪臍帶的嬰兒至17歲男女不等，雷辛說，部分兒童的年紀實在太小，根本不懂得用言語來形容發生在他們身上的，究竟是怎樣一回事。

在渥太華的記者會上，加拿大保護兒童中心(Canadian Centre for Child Protection)總監麥克唐納(Lianna McDonald)說﹐大約80%的兒童色情物品涉及8歲以下的兒童﹐高達40%的影像有性侵犯行為。

警方搜獲超過130部電腦﹑數百個硬盤﹑數以千計磁碟﹑其他電腦儲存硬件。全國剝削兒童協調中心主管騎警福克斯(Dave Fox)說﹕「預計未來幾星期還有搜查﹑逮捕和檢控。」

當局說﹐在這次行動中﹐23個高科技調查員是行動核心。在行動中﹐超過35個警隊單位派員查案﹐發出71張搜查令﹐提出100多項刑事控罪。福克斯呼籲國民鼎力合作，消除兒童色情的散播。

明報新聞網 - http://www.mingpaovan.com/htm/News/20090327/vaa1h.htm

Reflection in excruciation

2009-02-12T20:11:00.000-08:00

For the past 5 days, pain has became an uninvited visitor in my life.

With unknown reasons, I have this severe neck pain. I thought it was from those normal pain from bad sleeping position, but it's not that. The pain grows and intensified. Advil and Tynanol started to lose their effectiveness after taking them every 4 hours for 3 days. I ended up had to turn to acupuncture for relief. Boy, I am amazed by how effective acupuncture is. After 24hrs, the pain came back with greater intensity. I literally immobilized ... all I can do is to stop what I was going, endure the pain, wait for it to subsides. Man ...

This afternoon, sudden severe pain came, I dropped what I was doing and wait again. It's such an experience, I was calm, though painful, and waited in pain. At some point, I literally cried out to God "救~~命~~呀~~天~~父~~好~~痛~~呀~~~~~~!!!" Well, at times, it was so painful that I kept singing 叮噹's theme song (Don't ask me why, I just felt like shouting the song out in pain)! hahaha ... but as these pain episodes reoccur, I learn how to manage it ... that's to WAIT.

I guess there are times in our lives when we could just do nothing but to wait till the pain subsides. Frustration would just get the pain worse ...

Went for another acupuncture session for an hour, it's better now ... but ... I won't be overjoy, as it could come back anytime, but to enjoy the less-pain moment with reading, writing papers and writing my blog! haha ... after this acupuncture session, I am so serious in learning about acupuncture ... as a part of healing!

hahahaha ... Man ... it's ... life-saving!!!!!!!!

The hope of Redemption

2009-02-10T19:07:00.000-08:00

"...God is actively involved in redeeming us, in restoring us to complete relationship with him. God pursues us in the most loving yet unrelenting fashion. The thought of this gives the therapist great hope. In the midst of a busy day of seeing clients whose lives are torn by the effects of sin - despair, chaos and confusion - it is hopeful to think God's active redemptive pursuit of those clients. When the client seems unloveable, strongly defensive, actively psychotic or in some other way distant reflecting on God's active pursuit of that person in the process of redemption brings hope and a renewed sense of empathy. In a real sense redemption is restorative, and reflecting on God's redemptive work can bring a restorative pause to a draining day ..." (Integrative Psychotherapy by McMinn, M.R., p. 45)

this is the basis of a Christian therapist's professional integrity ...

after all ... it applies to those who are called to restore lives ...

Lorraine's Disney park

2009-02-02T23:06:00.000-08:00

Discussion Question this week ...

2009-01-26T09:22:00.000-08:00

This week's discussion question hits right on my heart's pondering ...

"What tangible difference does it make in one's life and practice to be a psychologist or counselor who is a devoted follower of Christ? Is it possible to be a committed Christian and one who is committed to the methods of psychology as a discipline? How? In what ways should being a follower of Christ makes a tangible difference in how one approaches psychology or practices counseling? "

Our Second Birth - I

2009-01-21T12:13:00.000-08:00

I have started reading up on Nouwen's book, titled - Our Second Birth - Christian Reflection On Death and New Life. It's Nouwen's diary entries during his Sabbatical year throughout his ministry in DayBreak.

Want to write down some of his entries that speaks to me personally on my own little journey of solitude.

"... We talked long hours about vocation, competency, church, work, future possibilities, and so on. Most important to me was that Steve is very glad to have left his bank job and loves his studies ... I kept saying 'Be sure that you love the life you are living now, your studies, your prayers, your friendship ... Then you can trust that God will reveal to you the direction to go when the time comes. Buy don't try to know now what you only have to know a few years from now' ... Steve took a risk by embarking on a road he doesn't know much about. But I feel that it is a beautifully inspired rish, worth taking, and not in a secure but basically unsatisfying job. I am convinced that one day his decisions will bear many fruits."

This is what I read at bedtime last night.

When God reiterates His comforts and assurance through multiple channels, then I know He is taking over. Humbly I learn to surrender all to The One who is above all.

Coming to think about Risk-taking ... am I ready for another round of it? I am asking myself for an honest answer.

"I am here" ... that's all I need to hear ... :)

獮猴演義

2009-01-17T01:14:00.000-08:00

如過對我認識的友人都知道這多年來猴子是我的心頭好 ...
maybe ... I belong to this place ...

不要讓恩典停留 ...

2009-01-12T23:27:00.000-08:00

讓我們張大眼，看到包圍在我們身邊的恩典 ...

卻不要讓恩典停留在我們身上 ...

再張大眼多一點，好叫恩典能透過我流到我身邊的人 ...

求上帝叫我有sensitivity ...

I guess I know why Life Hymn #247 means so much to me ...

知足

2009-01-12T23:03:00.000-08:00

有人好刻意找尋幸福 ...

如果，找不到，就怨天怨地，像整個世界欠了他一般 ...

恩典其實就是一早放在眼前等我們來發現 ...

很親切的多謝

2009-01-11T22:40:00.000-08:00

Came across this clip ...
特別有親切感 ...
基仔努力 ...

沒工作的日子

2009-01-08T16:38:00.000-08:00

當在忙到透不過氣來的日子，我會想放大假；
但是，但是當沒工作的日子時，卻好不自然 ...
又not exactly沒工作，只是一月十九日在開始學位的最後三科 ...
差不多full time study的日子快來了 ...

其實，我很期待這段短短安安靜靜的日子 ...
安靜的聆聽 ...
不知何時開始， solitude對我是那麽重要 ...
可能是有時我覺得我說話太多，少了聆聽 ...
又可能是我知道有好幾樣人生大事要想想而想安靜一下 ...

講真，心有有幾番話想跟我一班好好的同工和可愛無比的學生分享 ...
讓我好好的collect my thoughts才說吧 ...

Oh, set up 個讀經scheme給自己都好bor ...
Started to pick up my reading on Henri Nouwen's writings ... so refreshing ...

but so far, not used to days without work ...

I hope Spring wil come sooner ... I need the refreshing air ...

Holiday mood in PhotoBooth

2008-12-22T00:47:00.000-08:00

This past Saturday ... We were too much on a holiday mood (plus our boss was not around)... ended up ... we were on PhotoBooth ...

Squeezing the heads in Photobooth ...

... and more ...

(George's eyes ... were like ... Momo signature facial expression)

Hahahhaaa ... I bet our boss would in the picture if he were there in a kawaii pose ... hahaha ...

I guess more crazy pictures to come ...

Duty-free Day

2008-12-13T23:40:00.000-08:00

Yup, first duty-free (task-free, appt-free, work-free) park-tall day in many many many many many weeks! Hahaha ... Ken and I Hi-5 when we first saw each other today ... with much lighter shoulders from our exams and papers (endless).

I took a very nice ride to UBC to drop off some books ... and on my way, I just prayed aloud thanking God and singing praises to Him. Back down to Rmd, went finalized our wedding pictures to send off to printing in Taiwan. Then, went to so many other places which we've missed for a long time!! (of coz, Ken's favorite ... AUTOMALL!) He was checking out cars inside ... I was playing with bunnies outside ... they were so fluffy and cute! Then then ... went Ironwood to check something out! Then then, had a nice drive along the dyke! Then then, drove by Oval and remembered it grand opened ... so quick found a parking space and went in! wah ... I love the ceiling a lot!!!! I didn't know they have public ice skate slots today ... if not, I could have brought my skates and go on the ice!! Ken shopped in the gift-shop since all their logo-ed-anything is 50% off the lowest ticket price!!! Ended up he got some nice polo shirts for $5! hahaha! went for a quick dinner ... off to Zellers ... Winners ...

hahahaha ... WOW ...

But somehow ... Ken and I had that post-exam, post-paper syndrome ... felt 'something' was missing while there's nothing missing ... grr ...

I kinda anticipate for my last term for my MA.

but anyhow ... a day well spent with Ken and God!

The night with Timothy Fellowship

2008-12-13T23:17:00.000-08:00

YAY ...

"All papers are gone, I've been set free ... "(In the melody of Chris Tomlin's Amazing grace) ...

Handed in the paper early in the morning ... went for a whole day of appointments all around town ... still had to speak in a youth fellowship at night. I was quite tired by the time I parked my car. I was a little early, and I prayed in the car ... "A peaceful and powerful heart I grant you, go in My Name" ...

The very moment when they start their worship time (Very nice coordination with using CD to lead fellowship worship), blew me away!!! It was a rather mini-size youth fellowship with about 12 kids?! ... It was like 50 people singing altogether!! One song is from their summer camp and the other is Hillsong's "Worthy is the Lamb" in Mandarin. Oh boy! I sat in circle with this cozy group of kids. They were so responsive! I prepared for 5 pages of notes for an hour of talk, but I think I have just finished 1 page, at the most. We chatted, we asked questions, we reflected, we shared some of the life ponders as we pondered on how God created man and woman in Genesis. Such beautiful passage (well ... esp when I haven't got time to get to the fallen part yet!)!! You are just see in some of their eyes with great reflection about intimacy in their lives.

After fellowship ... a few kidos lined up to ask questions ... to ask me to pray for them ... on some of their brokenness. Ended up, I didn't leave the building until 1045pm. Very tired, but time well spent! I love working with young folks ... full of courage, full of life, full of hope, full of beauty ... can totally see God's amazing creation in lives ... It feels soooo good to see lives crying out for God in tears ... this is what genuine lives are ... If I can choose, I'd want to work with youths forever!!! But I guess diff life stage would have a slightly diff wonders to it ... hum ...

I guess I will go back to speak for a few more times ... hope we can get to the Fallen part in Genesis next time :)

你講左多謝未？

2008-12-11T22:53:00.000-08:00

自小媽咪就教我如果有人送左野給我，我就要講多謝 ...

我要同天父滿心感恩滿心歡喜的說一句多謝 ...

你講左多謝未？

快完成了 ...

2008-12-09T22:37:00.000-08:00

快累死了 ...

這四個禮拜，我只會 ...

返工返工返工, 看書看書看書, 寫寫寫 ...

每天勁祈禱求每天要用的力量 ...

I am actually enjoying the work, the reading and the writing, just that I don't think my body has been taking these good stress well. Waking up in the middle of the night That's when I encounter the power of prayers of an open heart to let the Spirit guide me in going back to the home of my life ... where strength, comforts, light and hope are ...

I long to have a restful and simple Christmas to share with my family and love ones in celebration of the hope and Salvation that brought to this world through the birth of Christ ...

Birthday prayer

2008-12-05T10:00:00.000-08:00

Early this morning ...

came to mind the prayers of Charles de Foucauld ...

Father, I abandon myself into your hands.

Do with me whatever you will.

Whatever you may do, I thank you.

I am ready for all, accept all.

Let only your will be done in me, and in all your creatures.

Into your hands I commend my spirit.

I offer it to you with all the love that is in my heart.

For I love you, Lord, and so want to give myself,

to surrender myself into your hands,

without reserve and with boundless confidence,

for you are my Father.

(I hope I didn't miss a word there)

Said this prayer in my heart with much trepidation and deepest joy, as I celebrate grace upon me for the past 31 years.

Abandoning oneself is like a free fall, but when you know what you are abandoning yourself into ... what shall I fear? Whom shall I fear?

If the free fall is abandoning yourself into the guidance of God and His grace, isn't it safer than walking on my feet with my own strength?

... that's by birthday prayer ... Thanks Lord for this prayer.

每天每刻獻上為你

2008-12-03T09:53:00.000-08:00

If my heart has a bulletin board ...

I am definitely sure God has put the following sticky notes on it over the past 10 years ...

"Long, come and be my servant"

"In my Name, I called you to be a counsellor for my people ... "

"Long, I torn you apart for I will rebuild you to bring glory to my Name"

"Don't be afraid, just keep going ... ask for strength you need each day, I will give you whatever you ask in my Name"

"You will be a blessing to many broken souls ..."

"Pray for those whom I called you to pray for ... "

"Long, honor my calling for you"

... every step of the way, God would put a sticky note on my bulletin board ...

This song has been playing in my heart for the past little while. The minor key in this song ... just fits so perfectly with the lyrics ... and it became my prayers to our Lord ...

神，你聖潔，當得尊貴，內心歡呼拍掌，今我全屬你，我的主，

神，你帶領，恩典經過，內心感恩喝采，今獻上為你，屬於主，

我要每天每刻都讚頌，你是神，你施恩典，你手相牽，令我滿有信心，

我要每天每刻都讚頌，你是神，獻出一生，交於主你手中。

Yup, I will this song onto my Lord's bulletin board! and this ...

God, You are super duper truper gruper good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Healing work in mission

2008-11-30T20:35:00.000-08:00

When I got up this morning, I felt dizzy ... after taking half a bottle of chicken essence ... off I went to worship.

It's church's annual mission conference this weekend. Oh boy, the message was so strong. It's nothing like those hard-sell 'go go go mission' but such a motivational sharing by Rev. Wong. He started off the message by sharing a story of how his heart was moved in seeing brokenness is people's lives ... and his basic mentality about mission is to have a compassionate heart to minister to those who are so wounded and bring them to Christ for healing. After all, healing is a huge part of mission work. OH BOY ...

God keeps on knocking and knocking my heart ... same question came to my mind. Ken and I exchanged eye contact and surely God has spoken to our hearts in the same way. We will keep on praying in where God will lead down the road in serving in His Kingdom together. All these messages lately have been ... pointing to the same direction ...

Father, Your calling in my life has become my identity somehow ... and that I will yield for you to take the lead in this whole ... 'thing' ...

a short post, but gotta note this down before I head back to my papers ...

My genograms and His Grace

2008-11-27T22:19:00.000-08:00

Tonight, as I was sitting down at my desk, I suddenly want to draw a genogram to help me think ...

I didn't draw a full-blown version, but as I was drawing ... a question came to mind "Am I drawing my genogram as who I am today? Or, as who I was ..."

This question shocked me.

... this question means ... I have changed ... my family have changed ...

... all by His grace alone ...

... Then ...

I remember when I 1st drew my genogram in my family counselling class, burst out in tears all the way and I couldn't finish my assignment. 'cause then, I realized how broken my family was and even so ... the side where I had to draw my biological dad's side was totally blank ... not that I didn't want to draw ... but I realized how little I knew about dad...so little to a point I wondered if I ever had a dad.

... Now ...

Over the years, I guess God tenderly listened to my tearful prayers ... I guess God took what I said in my prayers very mindfully ... I realized how much God has done in my life and family over the years ... As least, my dad's side in the genogram is no longer completely blank. I keep asking God to mend the wounds.

Lord, I am about 6 months away from finishing this degree. If it is of your use, please help me to finish it well for Your Glory. I just simply trust that if You need to use this ... you will carry me through for the last few classes.

Lord, I am a year away from starting a new family ... I pray that Your grace and guidance are all along the way. Ken and I will to yield for your intervention in our lives together ...

Father, I am weak, but you are strong ...

Feeling a little eerie tonight ...

豬肺湯的懷念

2008-11-23T23:49:00.000-08:00

掛住一個在生的人，

還可以寫個message, 打個電話，SMS ...

但是，

我今晚掛住的是 ...

公公，媽咪和我好愛的一個女人 ...

好掛住婆婆 ...

因為,

今晚喝了她被天父爸爸接回天家前為我跟媽咪特別弄的 ...

豬肺湯 ...

... 都是明天打給公公跟他玩玩IQ問題先!!!!

明年今日

2008-11-21T20:23:00.001-08:00

一早就收到Ken的點話，好開心打來恭喜我 ...

一來又不舒服，R晒頭 ....

哈哈哈哈哈，對的對的，

明年今日唷 ...

好多好朋友來我們婚禮一同來敬拜 ...

明年十一月二十一日

天父，天父 ...你是最好的！

公公出的無聊問題 (5)

2008-11-19T22:35:00.000-08:00

(等妹妹出場等到我們要來個自拍)

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈 ...

今天妹妹畢業，

晚飯時，公公突然說：「等我問你一個IQ問題啦 ... 航空公司開幕 .... 猜四字成語」

我問公公：「你又興玩IQ問題唷？」

公公說：「洗mud講，我早前跟朋友喝茶時, 我們玩了十多題」

我說：「好leck播！」

公公說：「是唷！ gum你即是估唔估倒呢？」

........ errr .... hum ....

anyhow ... 我愛公公!!!

無聊問題(4)

2008-11-17T18:44:00.000-08:00

近日有很多重大的決定要考慮，又是無聊問題出動作舒緩之用的時候 ...

... 點解廁所會有天花板？

代禱

2008-11-12T13:14:00.000-08:00

近日，常常在腦海浮現的urge就是為身邊的人禱告 ...

世界上太多人被各樣的經歷torture,

我沒什麼可以做到，

但我卻能為他們祈禱，

我深信要deliever他們的不是我，

卻是神。

After all, 我總覺得在苦難中經歷神其實是多寶貴 ...

我就要安靜的聽聽聖靈要我如何為我身邊的人禱告 ...

And it is interesting how God draws me intimately to Him through prayers ...

It's just like the passage that we focused on in my online class last week ... in John 15.

If it wasn't God's loving forgiveness and grace, I would not have such privilege to be in an intimate closeness in my friendship with God. (p.s. I wrestled and argued with God too at time!!!)

... 我不再稱你們為僕人，因為僕人不知道主人所作的事；我已經稱你們為朋友了，因為我從我父那裡聽見的一切，都已經告訴你們了。不是你們揀選了我，而是我揀選了你們，並且分派你們去結果子，就是結常存的果子，使你們奉我的名，無論向父求甚麼，他必定賜給你們 ...

What a lesson that God has been teaching me about prayers ...

God is so good ...

2008-11-03T21:18:00.001-08:00

Yup ... that's the song keeps playing in my head all these weeks ...

I learnt this song when I was in grade 9 sunday school ... and I remember how our fellowship counsellor shared this song with us when I was 22 (??) ...

As simple as such ... God is so good ... God is so good ... God is so good, He's so good to me ...

A love that we undeserved but graciously given ... thanks Dad :)

You are not guilty anymore ...

2008-11-01T21:34:00.000-07:00

Then each went to his own home ... but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.

At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he saw down to teach them.

The teacher of the law and Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to jesus, made her stand before the group and said to Jesus,

"Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?!"

... but Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finder.

When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them,

"If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her"

... Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time ...

the older ones first ...

until only Jesus was left ...

with the woman still standing there.

Jesus straightened up and asked her,

"Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

"No one, sir," She said.

"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared.

"Go now and leave your life of sin."

This is the forgiving Grace of God ... Repent ... and leave your sins ... embrace the freedom in Christ that you have never experienced before.

還有390日 - 影相日

2008-10-26T20:07:00.000-07:00

哈哈，對呀對呀，上個禮拜影左相 lu ...

<-- 因為，要用手機偷影，所以，quality也是這樣吧！！

其實，影相開心之餘，我同亞Ken也上左一課信心的功課呢。A week before the photoshooting day, the wedding shop owner called us and asked if we want to take the picture within 24 hours, as the forecast said it would rain on the day that we booked for photoshoot.

Ken and I went for a little field trip in the park we were planning to take our pictures. As we walked, we prayed aloud to God and trusted that whatever He provides on the day we originally booked, we would have happily take that as a gift. It sounds stupid, but somehow, we both felt even it turns out to be a cloudy (unless it's a thunderstorm) day, we would still do our happy pictures.

We turned down that offer and trusted in our Lord. But it's true scary, as we were following the weather forecast, it said it would have 100% rain. OOPS! there were moments when I turned to Ken and said "Opppps ... dim suen dim suen". Ken would say "Hey, where's the faith!?" ... We kept on trusting ...

2 days before that photoshooting ... hahaha ... the forecast suddenly said "0% rain, cloudless, sunny, +13C" ... hahaha ... God is good ...

During the whole day taking outdoor pictures ... Ken and I kept looking up to the cloudless blue sky thanking God for the smallest thing that He prepared. It was such a warm day in the midst of the chilly autumn weather. We can't ask for more ...

Throughout the whole day, I kept having a saying in my head "Long, you and Ken have to have this kind of faith in the path ahead of you. I will always prepare the best for you ..."

The next morning, I was prompt with a scary question since the moment I opened my eyes on my bed ... (will be continued ...)

Oh no ...

2008-10-18T10:45:00.000-07:00

Ahhh ... Ahhh ...

Today's headlines

2008-10-14T10:50:00.000-07:00

I took my Subaru Babe to shop for replacing his window shield today ... I walked over to Tim Horton's to wait for my buddy to pick me up for work ...

Tim's was so busy in the morning ...

The entertaining part was that for the 45mins I sat there to read for my papers ... I overheard dialogues of the top 3 headlines on today's paper ...

1. 要救市

2. Election today

3. New Mac Announcement

haha ... basically, I didn't miss my daily routine to listen to news on radio ... :P

White Horse

2008-10-04T00:05:00.000-07:00

As I was leading worship tonight ... I kept on praying for a pure worshipful spirit in each of our soul. When I looked at our choir standing at the back

... a glimpse of snapshots of how our life stories unfolded and tears shed as our fellowship grows over the months and years,

... a glimpse of snapshot of a friend whom I have known for years, grew together, served together, offered our lives together to God to use, but severely attacked by many tribulations in life, struggling to find his identity as a man ... after all, his identity in Christ,

... bondage and chains holding Christ followers back from experiencing freedom and peace in Christ ...

Slowly a very stern image anchored in my heart ...

a picture of a white horse ran quickly, with authority and force, in the darkness ... breaking metal chains after chains (some were rusted and some were shinny) that were entangled ... the white horse ran and ran ... it turned into such a glorious light as it travelled to a green pasture ... no longer I saw the horse, but the light ... the light was very warm and bright ...

Without plan ...

... God gave me tears to cry and to pray for those who are entangled ...

and I read

我們坐在黑暗中，死陰裡，被困苦和鐵鍊捆綁 ...

... on and on ...

我回家也趕快告訴Ken這些事，他也用同一句話回應

「Satan好不笨，會去attack D 越來越走得近上帝，行的近光明的人 ...」

求上帝憐憫 ...

My dear Subaru Babe ...

2008-09-30T18:13:00.001-07:00

My Subaba Babe is injured this afternoon on Highway ...

A rock hit the window shield and the dent quick cracked and created a '7'-shaped scar :(

I couldn't do much but kept on driving as cars and trucks on the road were furious today. I saw the scar started to spread ... my heart broke ... :( ... my subaba ....

it's longer than my my hand ... I hope I don't need to replace the shield ... if not, I'd have to pay $300 for deductible. But regardless, I have to pay 'something' to fix it ...

NO MOOD ... NO MOOD at all. But did a pretty nice radio segment this afternoon ...

Was going to go to exercise ... but no mood tonight. I better stay home and nail my homework down.

Grrrrrrrrrrr ... I don't like highways ...

無聊問題 (3)

2008-09-29T22:49:00.000-07:00

hahaha ... one more ....

有一塊beacon同一條腸仔放左落同一隻鑊度，點解佢地唔傾計？

so mo liu ... haha ...

John 2:1-11

2008-09-29T22:10:00.000-07:00

I must mark this down before I head to bed ...

Though there's a lot of works required from my online course in the gospel of John ... it has been a fruitful so far ... I have to write down some of my thoughts along the way ... gotta make it short ...as I am already quite tired after studying for many many hours today ... my eyes blurred

"... when the wine was gone,

Jesus' mother said to him, 'They have no more wine.'

'Dear woman, why do you involve me?' Jesus replied 'My time has not yet come.'

His mother said to the servants, 'Do whatever he tells you.'" John 3:3-5

Why the mother of Jesus brought this to Jesus' attention ... we don't know ... At this stage there is no indication why Mary expected Jesus to do anything, but his answer to her and her comment to the servants indicated that she thought he would do something to solve this. We don't know if she expected a miracle. We don't know what she expected, and we don't know why she expected anything at all.

... but what she did ....

... was to bring the situation to Jesus; and she has complete confidence that he will do something ...

... and that was how the 1st sign took place in the gospel of John in Cana ...

... makes me wonder ... am I praying having such a full confidence that God will intervene? I guess my faith would sometimes swing to the other side of the pendulum of easily giving in to accept the fact that things are ... in fact, God could intervene at His will that let not forget that ...

Reminds me of the serenity prayers ...

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference" ...

無聊問題 (2)

2008-09-25T18:24:00.000-07:00

再來一個 ...

生菜榮賣生菜，菠菜強賣菠菜；那衛蘭賣什麼？

幾天前有人問我 ... haha ...

無聊問題 (1)

2008-09-25T10:35:00.000-07:00

近日個腦要想好多太intensive的事 ...

所以，都係有時想下d 無聊問題笑笑再投入工作好了 ...

(staff retreat效應) ...

so so, here you go ... give it a shot ...

樹邊部份最得閒？

Journeying with John online ...

2008-09-15T20:53:00.000-07:00

Yup, I am giving another shot at an online course this term. Gave so much thought about whether I should pick up a course this term, with all diligence and my new 'trainer' (Ken ... haha) ... I have decided to give another shot. All study schedule well planned ... cutting down leisure (no more youtubing at night), adding exercise, using my annual leave ... hope to take another course down my list!

Taking online course is quite stressful, especially if the prof demands a particular amount of online activities. I remember when I was taking my counselling ethic's course, the whole class almost got internet-addiction after 4 months of torture. Literally, we had to reply and to response to those who commented on our response within 24hrs, or else marks will be taken off from us. Plus endless readings and writing on ethical cases ... wow!! Well well ... we filed in a complaint after this course ... I mean a REAL official complaint!!

This course doesn't seem as brutal, but can't underestimate it at all. Gotta read the whole book of John in a total of 8 times in the upcoming 10 weeks + reading reflection. Plus, weekly lecture ... plus about 50 pages of writings. Though there's no rigid time limit for my to reply those responses of my thread, I still have to respond in a timely manner to get the marks going. So, I guess less of a chance for internet-addiction, but still reply within the same week.

Well well ... beyond all these, I actually hope this class serves a devotional purpose for my own walk with God too. As long as there's no more 'crazy and unexpected' thing happen in the coming 10 weeks or so ... I think(hope) I can finish well on this!!!

The more exciting thing about this class is that I met my old-time counselling buddy in this online class. She gave birth to a baby boy last year and striving to finish the degree by next year. So so so ... hopefully, maybe we could walk across the stage in the same convocation next year!!!

Gotta get back to reading ...

p.s. Gotta thank my 'handsome and wise' boss for checking out books for me from library ... saving me big bucks!!!! hahahahahha ... rubbing shoes ah! hahahahahah

There is a higher throne

2008-09-15T16:13:00.001-07:00

This is another song that keeps playing in my mind lately ...

This is such a heavenly song ...

A foretaste of what it is like in heaven praising our Lord in eternity ...

How good it is to worship our Lord ...

Worshipping Him in quietness, in calm and sunny days, and in stormy nights ...

Words and Music by Keith & Kristyn Getty

There is a higher throne

Than all this world has known,

Where faithful ones from ev'ry tongue

Will one day come.

Before the Son we'll stand,

Made faultless through the Lamb;

Believing hearts find promised grace—

Salvation comes.

REFRAIN

Hear heaven's voices sing;

Their thund'rous anthem rings

Through em'rald courts and sapphire skies.

Their praises rise.

All glory, wisdom, pow'r,

Strength, thanks, and honor are

To God our King, who reigns on high

Forevermore.

And there we'll find our home,

Our life before the throne;

We'll honor Him in perfect song

Where we belong.

He'll wipe each tear-stained eye

As thirst and hunger die.

The Lamb becomes our Shepherd King;

We'll reign with Him.

1st anniversary

2008-09-15T15:54:00.000-07:00

It was our little pak-tall anniversary last Saturday! What a year (in good terms)!

We drove around some of our favorite places to brainstorm for places where we can take our engagement shots next month with nice autumn scenery. We are different in many ways, but yet, we can somehow compromise in many other ways. He was an alien to me (I guess I was one to him too), but now we can just sense each other's needs without much words ... a funny feeling indeed.

Had a nice and simple dinner our on Kingsway, no fancy food or restaurant, but good enough to fill our empty stomachs with satisfaction.

Monetary expenditure for that day: $20 + Gas

Sweet memory engraved: priceless ^_^

Somehow, I have a few songs playing up in my head these days ... this is one of them ...

一同事奉

2008-09-11T21:24:00.000-07:00

剛從staff retreat回來 ... 這幾天一同相處，一同玩wii，一同開會(from dawn to dust) ...

其實，我覺得一同事奉合作最美的就是要懂得走位，

意思就是說，我見到你有不足，我就補上；

我有不足和乏力，你就走上來補充。

一同事奉，不一定是同聲同氣就一定行，

相反，因為在team裡有好不同的想法才會令圖畫更豐富。

一個看macro的，另就看micro;

一個看事，另一個就看人；

一個看夢想，另一個就看有多實際。

要有這種合拍不一定單是用時間就能孕育出來，

卻是加上對自己和彼此的認識和信任並由聖靈帶領來成就的。

因為我們很「肉緊」這的世代的年青信徒能否作一生跟隨上帝的門徒 ...

我們在使者就是這樣事奉了 ...

突然掛住我的好同事們 ...

（話說回來，我跟Ken的'partnership'也好像如此）

回來了

2008-08-21T19:25:00.000-07:00

有朋友仔問我點解近日無mud Blog，唔係我唔想寫或無野寫，而是真係沒時間唷！

忙得來又跟天父keeping in pace, 所以也不算drain out ... 只是要更好好protect安靜的時間 ...

但係真係有點少少迷路的感受唷，因為我的degree好像永遠都不回完的樣子，

有時想，不完成也沒什麼大不了 ...

如果這是天父對我說的，我就不會有那些不安 ...

可是，我心底一早就知道這卻不是天父的聲音吧 ...

再加上我不停convince自己相信要放棄時，

那些迷失感就在此產生了 ...

天父又給我遇見好幾個counsel過好一段長日子的clients，

見到她們生活也比已前好時，也對我是一些無聲的鼓勵，

我同學生談天時，也有同一的感覺唷 ...

自2006年因為身體不好而停下讀書的momentum，

我就開始掙扎。

前晚，也跟Ken說到流淚 ...

問了我很多問題，

也勁challenge我從前有那份幹勁和耐力，

我好奇怪他點知以前的我是如何，

因為我倆相識才一年半多，

他的observation and intuition也比我強吧。

And now ... he became my coach to finish this part of the race ...

要去朋友仔的婚禮了 ...

再寫 ...

A pray for simplicity

2008-08-12T23:21:00.000-07:00

Lord,

I praise you for how simple your love is for me.

I thank you for things and tribulations that you allowed in my life.

Hurdles from yesterday became strength for me today ...

Father, I beg for your enduring strength in my to finish off my degree which I dedicate of your use. If this is still the path you want me to walk on, please anchor your affirmation in me. "The song' came to me in just perfect timing again ...

as I grow, you taught me how to choose, how to make choices that pleases your own eyes. Father, I pray for a heart of simplicity in me so that I can completely surrender myself in your Hands and abandon my dreams and desire in You.

Grant me a simple heart trusting that my today and my tomorrow are in Your creative hands.

Grant me a simple heart surrender ability and talents to you when I feel most capable.

Grant me a simple heart trusting that you creativity will lead me out of the maze when I feel like being trapped in one.

As I am learning to keep in pace with Your spirit, grant me a simple heart to love and to follow You ...

Grant me a simple trust in You when things just don't make sense in my limited knowledge.

Dad ... may my soul dwells in You ...

Love, Long

The hope that saved me

2008-07-28T22:07:00.000-07:00

Life is filled with things that carry us away from fully abandoning and surrendering ourselves to Our Saviour. The road is narrow ...

At times, we hold onto our sense of self so tight that we worship our needs and that

At times, we are overwhelmed with detours that jolt our faith in Christ and filled our soul with doubts.

When the slightest sense of hopelessness knocks at our hearts, we easily let it into our hearts ...

that's when it starts to turn corrosive that eats up our sense of Hope ...

How easily we choose to forget about the Hope that He has installed for us through the Salvation ...

His hope saved and delivered me ...

Elpis ...

... is the greek word for HOPE. (as in 1 Peter 1:3 - "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living HOPE through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade - kept in heaven for you.)

... Nothing is more strengthening than knowing that there's is a hope in the midst of suffering and hardships. Our Hope is rooted in Christ ... and not myself ... and that changed my life.

... this is still the word in my heart, if one day God allows my dream to come into live.

Thanks to lo-sai brother for this song ... tears washed away the sense of hopelessness ... and slowly filled with a sense of strength that calms my heart.

"There is a hope that burns within my heart,

that gives me strength for ev'ry passing day;

a glimpse of glory now revealed in meager part,

yet drives all doubt away:

I stand in Christ, with sins forgiv'n;

and Christ in me, the hope of heav'n!

My highest calling and my deepest joy,

to make His will my home."

"There is a hope that lifts my weary head,

a consolation strong against despair,

That when the world has plunged me in its deepest pit,

I find the Saviour there!

Through present suff'rings, future's fear,

He whispers "courage" in my ear.

For I am safe in everlasting arms,

And they will lead me home."

"There is a hope that stands the test of time,

That lifts my eyes beyond the beck'ning grave,

To see the matchless beauty of a day divine

when I behold His face!

When suff'rings cease and sorrows die,

And ev'ry longing satisfied.

Then joy unspeakable will flood my soul,

For I am truly home."

被hut-chiu困擾

2008-07-09T04:01:00.000-07:00

四點多了，我大半晚給敏感大爺弄醒！

好辛苦！

救命！

在Vancouver的Calgary

2008-07-03T18:01:00.000-07:00

原來，有時掛住一個地方可以是因為掛住那地方的人 ...

可能，我掛住Calgary也是如此 ...

Calgary的團契導師，牧師和師母這幾天也來了Vancouver同出席一個婚禮。

謝謝他們帶來的鼓勵和關心。

他們也一直為近日我與天父的drama祈禱，也交換了眼淚唷！

Really treasure these friendships in the body of Christ!!

其實，天父給了我和Ken有好多這些amazing people in our lives!

We are loved and cared for! :)

Pray that we both can also be companions for you guys in our journey with 天父爸爸唷！

這一切不是必然，卻是恩典唷！

好熱

2008-07-01T23:27:00.000-07:00

真的好熱，幸好今年家中添置了一台新fan ...

近日，太多又新又奇的事情發生了，

我覺得有點耗盡了我的brain power去應對，

令我這幾個星期也用我的「後備電」生活。

我想安靜下來也不能 ... 未能安靜對我而言卻是大忌也！

前幾日，Ken一心帶我到海灘走走，點知，我們的敏感一同發作，我們走都走唔切 ...

天父天父，求你帶我靜靜的到你面前 ... please, baba!

Missing pieces

2008-06-22T20:29:00.001-07:00

There was a piece of me went missing for 24 years ...

A piece that was meant to be where I find could my security ...

A piece that was meant to be where I could put my trust in ...

That piece was gone due to some wrongful decisions in his life ...

There were days as I was growing up that I wanted to look for that missing piece ...

but I didn't have the courage.

There were days when I grieved for the loss for that piece ...

Years gone by without that missing piece ...

A picture with a missing piece started to become the perfect picture ...

God transformed my life through that empty spot in my life ... a place deeply yearning for love, for acceptance, for loyalty, for protection ...

It was through that missing piece that I humble come before our Lord ...

As God knows that I am above to step into another stage of my life and journey with Him ...

He simply knows I needed to mend that missing piece ...

He made things happened that way He wanted to ...

Streams of healing tears mended the wounds ...

As I reflect, how much I thank the important people in my life who raised me up with extraordinary love and patience ...

Although one part of me was missing ...

but God gave me so much more ...

'cause He loves me and He knows what I needed to walk through those growing years ...

This has been a Psalm that comforts me ...

Psalms 146:8-10

"... the Lord gives sight to the blind,

the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down,

the Lord loves the righteous.

The Lord watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow,

but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.

The Lord reign forever, you God, O Zion,

for all generations.

Praise the Lord."

If Our Lord desires to use His story through me, I am ready ... just show me the way to reach out to the wounded ... My Father, hear my prayers ...

Thank you to all my angels for prayers and care ... love you all :)

Our God is in control!

A different kind of "fee lee fat let" ...

2008-06-22T20:03:00.000-07:00

This is a different type of Fee Lee Fat Let from last time. I think I am getting the gift of Canada ... Hay Fever. Oh my ... I thought I have a cold, but turned out ... it's my 1st round of Hay Fever!!!! Ken has been Fee Lee Fat Let for the past few weeks and I kept wondering how it feels like to have hay fever ... well ... sigh ... I shouldn't have such thought ... ! And now, I can have so much empathy for him and became one of his companions. I don't even know what I am allergic to ... grass? pollen?

Should I get allergy meds? ... ahhhh ... Hut-chiuuuuuuuuuuuuu ...

That's how I survived last week ...

2008-06-19T16:32:00.000-07:00

黑猩猩懂擁抱親吻減壓 (明報) 06月 18日星期三 05:10AM
【明報專訊】
英國科學家研究發現，黑猩猩遇襲感到痛楚時，得到同伴上前擁抱或親吻以表安慰，可替受害的猩猩紓緩壓力。
利物浦約翰摩爾斯大學人類學及生態學進化研究中心的弗雷澤（Orlaith N. Fraser）博士說﹕「安慰的方法通常是一個吻或擁抱。假如猩猩用吻安撫，會將張大了的嘴巴壓到對方身上，一般會吻頭或背。若擁抱的話，牠們會用雙臂攬對方。」她指出，當猩猩獲得安慰後，會做出搔癢或自我理毛等紓壓動作。安慰行為通常在發生衝突後出現，其他情很少見。

___________________________________

Wanted to blog how the drama with God went ... but been too busy this week with work, school and meetingssss ...

When I saw this forwarded post by a dear friend ... it simple depicted how I survived through last week. Our Lord is good. Angels around me and from many parts of this world sent prayers and hugs over ...

I mean it ... Our Lord is Good ... I mean ... REALLY good ... I mean ... REALLY REALLY good!

Something that takes 2 ...

2008-06-02T17:46:00.000-07:00

Since I was little, I was trained to be independent and be self-sufficient. I learnt to be organized, I learnt to find my own way out in face of adversities, I learnt to take care of people around me, I learnt that it was okay to abandoned and ignore me, I learnt to cover up my own darkness, fears, weakness ... any signs of dependence would consider as a sign of weakness and would never be acceptable.

These are good survival skills to have and have served me well over the years ... covering up to avoid pain, to avoid reality, to avoid the deepest longing and desire of my very own heart ... that's to be accepted and loved.

... but as I came to a closer walk with God, I learnt to be more vulnerable and bring the core of my own being in face of my own weaknesses. It was a fearful process, as I have to continually admit my shortcomings and imperfections. In return, God replaced the emptiness with the presence of His very own and the freedom that brought forth through His Cross. I started to learn to let go the most familiar surviving skills that I acquired and served me effectively over so many years ... and learn to live freely in His grace.

God has never promised that the growing journey in Him will forever be smooth and sunny. There are just times when you felt like abandoned by Him ... yet ... during the journeys in the valley ... He showed me that He knew what was going to happen and that He was already waiting for me in the valley to catch me in case when I fall ... and I did ... numerous times ...

... on and on He changed me ... on and on He prepared me to embrace ... on and on ...

When He brought my fearful heart to once again experience the love He intended me to embrace, I walked on and just trust that He will be there for me even when I fall again. Walking down the new route with a new buddy is fascinating ... not only that he would pay more attention to the cars on the street than anything else (haha ...), but God granted him with the many good characters that I longed to see in my buddy for life.

Moving from 1 to 2 is a huge step ...

and now ...

moving on from 2 to 1 is an even bigger step ...

which requires a much greater faith in Our Creator ...

... longing to dwell in His presence ...

God answered a prayer I made yrs ago and prayed for over a long time ...

" Dear Lord, ... I am grateful that as I wonder about my future, I can also take comfort in the fact that You are more concerned about the details of my life than I am. I thank You for the dreams You have given me – to marry and to have a family someday.... To be honest, Lord, sometimes I feel like it’s not very important to You. Give me the faith to trust that You will provide Your will in Your time.... I pray that you would ground me in the present even as I anticipate my future. I ask that You would show me today what I can do to please You and become more like the woman You want me to be. I pray for my future husband and ask that even today You instill in him a desire to be a godly husband and father. I ask that You would teach him even now how to develop that character. I ask that You would give both of us a purity of heart, mind and body as we wait to meet and marry each other. I ask that You would make that day come quickly! I seek Your blessings on my future marriage. I ask that you would protect it and guard it so that a healthy heritage will begin through it ..."

That's a prayer that the Holy Spirit gave me ...

and He answered ...

... marriage is something that takes 2 to build ...

Lord, teach us as we walk ... all to you, Jesus

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ... thanks for sharing our greatest joy and excitement and thanks for walking with us as we grow!! You guys are angels in our lives!!!!!!!

... so now ... with the 'when and how' ... wait till I write next time ... quite a few papers to rush for in the coming days ...! hehehehehe ^_^

New Life in Christ

2008-05-22T23:14:00.000-07:00

The students shared 2 songs with us ^_^

These 2 pictures were very very funny! A few students kindly offered help to move some benches from the front of the sanctuary to the foyer. Their videoman wanted to shoot the scene ... but the 'movers' walked too fast ... then the videoman asked the students to walk back to where they go then bench and walk again (consider that it was rather heavy!) Other students heard that the videoman is shooting again ... haha ... the rest of the whole gang ran to 'pretend' offering help to carry the heavy bench. One of them said "我要爭取出鏡機會" ... hahaha ... well ... so basically the 2nd shot has way more people law! hahaha ... they are simple cute!!!

Nothing is greater than God's almighty power ...

Zheng Sheng College's (Drug Rehab school in HK) principal

and founder came to Vancouver with 12 others students. All the students are either substance abusers or admitted through court orders.

Got to meet a few of the students during PP959 show last Sunday. They were the abandoned, neglect, abused ... they once lost hope ... they once wounded ... God reached out to them and healed many of their wounds ... though an ongoing process, ye

t, they are found. And in fact, we are all 'in-progress' ...

When I got to sit down with a few of them during dinner. We had such a good conversation. I felt like serving in gospel camps in RCAC in the old da

ys, surrounded by young folks whose

lives are vibrant but once hurt and torn. They shared their stories with me, from hindsight, of how they longed for love and acceptance ... and ended up they gave up their life to drugs and other abuse of other sorts. Reminded me of my 2.5 years in Maples Adolescence Treatment Center ...

When I was walking out to the parking lot ... a few kids whom we are chatted with came to said bye! Somehow, I missed them ...! I asked them to "加油，要堅持，天父的恩典夠你用。好好用天父給你的恩典幫助在掙扎的同學唷" ... don't know why, the guy nodded his head and his eye became watery ... so were mine's . As I asked him why he got teary ... I am amazed how God prompted me to say what I said ...

加油加油加油加油！

Yes, they are still struggling ... but they have God in their lives ...

There are more out there who are struggling without knowing who God is ... my heart aches ...

So many typos in this entry ... I am sooo tried from a long day of meetings and work ... but really wanna write these down before I hit my bed ...

Fee Lee Fat Let

2008-05-16T22:58:00.000-07:00

Sigh ... what's going on?!?!?!? I've been getting bad bad sore throat for the past 2 days and now coming down cold-combo (with fever+running nose+headache) ... grrrr ... grrrr ... I dropped dead after I got home from work and just got worsen. I don't like that at all!!!

Fee-lee-fat-let all the way through the night ... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... I planned to get a paper done this long weekend. I hope I can still make it.

Gotta rest, feel drowsy with Mr. Tynanol ...

Keep praying for those who are suffering from China ...

心痛

2008-05-14T18:50:00.000-07:00

這幾天也想寫篇blog 有關四川的地震，但是見到報紙和在網上的片段時，我的心真是為著他們很難過。Most probably,我不知到他們的名字；most probably, 我從未見過他們；但是聽到他們在如山般高的碎片叫著兒子的名子, 見到小女孩又嚷著要爸爸媽媽時，我卻跟他們一起流淚 ...

一月在Calgary上的Crisis Intervention counselling科時，我們花了好幾天在練習在天災中輔導方法時，心想「有幾可會用到？不如多教Suicidal 或 grieving 的更好！」

當我看到這幾天的報導時，我就跟覺的自己好膚淺 ...

我也不禁想起去Manitoba前完成的paper ... Crisis Intervention for parentally bereaved children ... I keep wondering how feasible it is to implement things that I suggested in my paper in this situation ...

Anyhow anyhow ...

Let's offer our prayers and help to those who are mourning secretly in their hearts ...

Christian Masquerade?

2008-05-07T20:29:00.000-07:00

After a long day of class and right before dinner, I took a nice walk along "THE" river that gentle meandered through the meadow near the campus building. It was a little chilly and my windbreaker was just good enough.

As I meandered, my conversation with God went on

... some are unfinished thoughts from the classes about being a woman (or even a man),

... some are just praises for the works that God has brought to my life,

... some are praying for names of people that came to my mind,

... some are things that didn't sit well in my heart about how people connect/disconnect with each other,

... the quest went on ...

Came back to the dorm and sat down to read a chapter from a book that our prof gave us before the end of the day ... somewhere along the chapter, it says ...

"... When I became a Christian, I was taught that anger was a sin. Wanting to be like Jesus, I stuffed all feelings of irritation, annoyance, resentment, and hatred. They were sins. right? ... When we do not process before God the very feelings that make us human, such as fear or sadness or anger, we lead." Our churches are filled with 'leaking' Christians who have not treated their emotions as a discipleship issue. Grieving is not possible without paying attention to our anger and sadness. Most people who fill churches are 'nice' and 'respectable'. Few explode in anger - at least in public. The majority, like me, stuff these 'difficult feelings,' trusting God will honor our noble efforts. the result is that we leak through in soft ways such as passive-aggressive behavior (e.g. showing up late), sarcastic remarks, a nasty tone of voice, and the giving of the 'silent treatment' ..." from

Perhaps, we can't change the whole world, but we ought to make a different in our own connection with people that God lead us to.

Christian-masquerade is quite hurtful at times ...

"The bridge" analogy

2008-05-05T19:34:00.000-07:00

The school campus is really ... REALLY in the middle of nowhere! It's a really good place for solitude and retreats ... well ... basically turned my reading mode on, as, even the internet usage is limited that no way to watch youtube or similar, there's nothing to do other than reading. I guess I will post some pictures up in the next blog entry :) so stay tuned :)

I've been looking forward for this course about gender issues and counselling. The readings are quite heavy, yet, very interesting, so I decided to keep a little reading log along the way ...

"... Behind the 'two are better than one' Scriptures is the idea that two independent persons have unique strengths to offer each other and the relationship. Without two separate identities, interdependence is not possible. Some hold to the false notion that dependency or fusion is the ideal: 'I can't do it without you, and I must lean on you to be strong.' Two overly dependent persons hanging on to each other for dear life have no solid ground on which to stand when things get difficult or an unexpected stress hits."

"... Empowerment occurs when two equal partners influence each other. Interdependence is the intent. Spouses who are secure and self-confident can express them selves honestly and directly. In doing so, they have an opportunity to listen and to know the deeper feelings and thoughts of their spouse so they can come to a decision out of mutual respect and regard. Individual power is translated into relationship strength. When each spouse is able to sta

nd solidly on his or her own feet, using the personal resources and relational strengths that have been developed mutual empowerment happens..."

by Ronal Pierce and Rebecca Groothuis

The whole article goes on to depict the whole concept of marriage as partnership for life. The growth sense of self is a rather key component in empowering the marriage ... yet ... not letting it carried away to be overly egocentric. It somewhat reminds me of an analogy I used in one of my sessions with my clients to explain healthy what a healthy boundary and sense of self looks like in a relationship. That's my little 'bridge analogy'

[haha, don't challenge me on the actual engineer of it, I just thought of this little picture of a bridge as I was taking a walk along steveston landing 2 years ago ... hehee]

The pillars that support the bridge have to be stand at a precise distance in order to avoid collapsing. It cannot support the bridge if the 2 pillars are too far apart, nor can they be too close. the only way that make a bridge stand with 2 pillars is to make them stand at certain distance. ... well ... I guess it somewhat applies to relationships (whether it's family relationships, friendships, marriages, ...etc). When 2 people are too enmeshed, at least one will get suffocated, but when they are too distant ... needs for companionship and intimacy will never be met. And perhaps, in seeking the the unique meaning as a Christ follower in our lives shapes our identity and give shape of our sense of self ... hum hum ...

... incomplete thoughts lingering ...

MooMoo

2008-05-02T11:12:00.001-07:00

I will be flying out to Manitoba this Sunday for my course on Providence campus in Otterburne.

I remember how the spirit led me to mission conference in Jan 2004 and met a registrar there. There was a guy asking the registrar ...

Guy: So ... what do you have out in Otterburne other than the school building ...

R: Well, we have a river ...

Guy: Oh, nice ... what else?

R: Hum ... nothing ...

Guy: oh ... that's ... fun ~_~''

Oh great, so ... I guess I will at least see a river in Otterburne ... and perhaps a bison or two.

A month ago, I whined about how much school work I have on my plate, with all of God's Grace ... I survived through ... yet ... I still have 2 pending. I think I will be able to nail one down before I go on my trip (makes it ... at least I have all my stuff that I need to submit before my class).

After all, I really do pray that God keeps on speaking to me in the upcoming course about Gender Issues ... maybe it's something that God will use to narrow my counselling speciality. There are just too many non-sense little things happened lately ... my heart just tells me that all these non-sense will make sense one day. Well ... so ... I am not too worry ... as long as God is surfing the waves with me ... I am happy! God is faithful and good!

Moooomooooo my way out Vancouver skyline ...

Oh, in fact ... I am not too sure if bison moomoos ... let me find out if I get to meet them on my trip.

5-3=2

2008-04-28T22:49:00.000-07:00

Yeaaaaa ... knocked another one down.

3 down, 2 more to go ...

I wonder if I am able to finish before I take off to Manitoba.

keeping my fingers crossed :)

Thank you, Lord!

Paper math: 5-3=2

Hope

2008-04-23T21:45:00.000-07:00

eÍlpiðv

this is hope

... Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living HOPE through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead ...

1 Peter 1:3

in a prayerful heart ... I humbly seek ...

5-2=3

2008-04-19T23:15:00.000-07:00

Well well ... I finished one long paper mid last week!

As I was checking off and recounting the number of papers pending ... hahaha ... I realized ... I only have 3 more to go instead of 4! hahaha ... Why? Well ... I misread one of the lines. so so so ... only 3 more to go. But it already feels like I have actually KNOCKED one down litreally ... hahaha ... well well ...

I told Ken that I 苦中作樂，Ken corrected that I am rather 自欺欺人! ~_~"....

Haha ... according to my trauma course, I think crisis is a self-interpretation that leads to a self-perception of a critical event, in this case, my papers! haha ...

Paper Math: 5-2=3

Thanks God! haha!

The Paper Song

2008-04-15T21:35:00.000-07:00

I am on the last section of the paper that I am working on ...

I still have FOUR more papers to go ... but well ... I will just go day by day, paper by paper ...

In the midst of this writing process, I thank God for given me some 'silly' thoughts to keep myself awake ... and most after all ... entertained ...

If you have heard the classic hymn "Turn your eyes upon Jesus" ... my little Timothy and I wrote some new lyrics to cheer myself up in the midst of these endless papers ...

Turn Your Eyes Upon Paper (in the melody of chorus of 'turn your eyes upon Jesus')

Turn Your Eyes Upon Papers ... (rap: I mean Jesus)

or you will not get your degree ...

so be fast ... and write till you fall asleep ...

then you will ... get your Master's Degree ...

Lord, ... I need your help!!!!

12:30am - 1 Down, 4 To Go ... Thank Lord!

擺烏弄

2008-04-10T10:42:00.000-07:00

話說，有位好弟兄(Ah J)打給Ken問問弟兄S的電話。

點知，Ken無弟兄S的電話，

我看到我的Phone Book有S的名字，

就告訴Ah J弟兄啦！

收線後，心感不妙 ...

幾分鐘後，

Ah J弟兄打來，我接電話，

Ah J弟兄問：「你給我的電話肯定是正確的嗎？當我打那個電話時，不但有個女人聽電話(要知道，弟兄S也有女朋友），還說S在跟女兒在洗澡唷(哈哈，弟兄S未結婚，何來有女要洗澡

呢？）！！！」

真係唔好意思唷！

我知到S的太太會看我的Blog，在此要說句不好意思，我擺了個烏弄唷！！！

OOPSSSSS ... :P ...魚死！

差點想放棄

2008-04-07T21:23:00.000-07:00

近日，放工回家就要不停看papers去做paper ...

本來寫paper就是樂趣 ...

但是，近日身體有點怪怪加上工作好忙，做papers真不是味兒 ...

有一刻，真是想放棄我的Counselling Degree好了！

2004年開始讀，

以為2006畢業，

gao gao o下2008也未畢業！

今晚做到想「發pay氣」時 (也可能是只不過是看土豆的好excuse)，

無啦啦開了我放我這個degree的Memory Stick出來一看 ...

WAH ... With God's grace I have done so many classes already ...

I am literally 4 classes away from finishing ... AHHHHHH

I need to press on ... (OOPS, no excuse to watch 土豆tonight)

問我知唔知點解天父要我gum多年都未畢業(well, 係allow)？而同時點解我對counselling的心亦從為冷卻？

我不知道！

我知道的就是我跟我當初入program時的我不同了！

我跟天父也'friend'了很多！

正在開工的是: Crisis Intervention for Bereaved Children ...

叉飽

2008-04-07T18:00:00.000-07:00

妹妹買了一位「叉飽」小姐回來！

交換眼淚

2008-03-31T13:33:00.000-07:00

天父爸爸永遠都是最好！

Nothing better than sharing hearts with people who are genuine. God continuously bless me with really amazing people in my life. Their lives, their stories, their hearts, their tears ... are just so unique and amazing that keeps on reminding me the path is never lonely. Friendships are nurtured when we are able to connect through the bright sides, as well as the dark sides of lives ... the sides which we shield from everyone ...

It was because of God's love and healing that brought hearts together.

Thank you for shedding tears together ...

Snowing March in Van

2008-03-28T09:54:00.000-07:00

As I was driving out from the driveway this morning, I saw a piece of white flake falling from the sky. I guess my mind was somewhat in sleeping mode and I thought "ha? Who is throwing garbage at my car?" ... then I realized that it was actually SNOWING!

This is not such a big surprise after living in Calgary (the Winter wonderland) for a couple of years ... but it's kinda weird happening to Vancouver.

Anyhow ... Drive safe everyone!!!

Amazing Grace (my chains are gone)

2008-03-26T23:20:00.001-07:00

God is forever faithful. His enduring love and grace is the only pillar that I can lean on at all times. His love is shown through the clouds of witnesses in my life. It was because of His extraordinary grace that I am saved and free from the bondage of sins and guilt. Nothing can compare to the love that He displayed on The Cross in Calvary. It is because of His Words that my heart is secure. It is because of His presence that the peace dwells in my heart. It is because of His spirit that I have wisdom in every step of the way. It is because of His patience that I have room to grow and reflect.

Our Lord is just an amazing God who reaches out to those who are wounded and of His beautiful Creation.

IMAX海鮮

2008-03-21T22:18:00.000-07:00

受難節崇拜後，Ken竟然真的記得我說過想看IMAX的Deep Sea (他的記性真係要給他十個0力) ...

明明已跟團契吃完個飽飽午餐，但一邊看，一邊唔知點解個肚gulu gulu想吃的樣子 ...

再想想，在IMAX中見到好多深水動物 ...

令我想起很多食物唷！哈哈哈哈哈哈哈 ... 只不過我慣了看牠們個「死樣」

海鮮演員包括：

會夾夾夾gua gua聲逃出八抓魚的capture的帶子 ... 令我想起 ... Chopped Scallop Hand Cones!

在珊瑚礁上扮死的八抓魚 ... 令我想起 ... 飲茶時吃的炸「遊」魚! In fact, 明天就去飲茶!

給條好怪怪樣白色大魚吃了的蟹（吃完了還吐骨） ... 令我想起 ...在一朗亭的soft shell crabs!

一大條呆呆樣子好重磅的星斑！

好好好好好大堆海膽！

Casting真的好有"taste"! yumm ...

看完了好想有點guilty feeling因為人真是broke了很多天然food chains. 心想以後不吃牠們了！

結果，晚飯時我們一家吃了十多磅Alaska蟹（四食添）！OOPS ...

我都記得 ...

2008-03-14T13:40:00.000-07:00

2:1		耶和華的話臨到我說、
2:2		你去向耶路撒冷人的耳中喊叫說、耶和華如此說、你幼年的恩愛(devotion of your youth) 、婚姻的愛情 (your love as a bride) 、你怎樣在曠野、在未曾耕種之地跟隨我、我都記得。
2:3		那時以色列歸耶和華為聖、作為土產初熟的果子．凡吞喫他的、必算為有罪．災禍必臨到他們．這是耶和華說的。
2:4		雅各家、以色列家的各族阿、你們當聽耶和華的話。
2:5		耶和華如此說、你們的列祖見我有甚麼不義、竟遠離我、隨從虛無的神、自己成為虛妄的呢．
2:6		他們也不說、那領我們從埃及地上來、引導我們經過曠野、沙漠有深坑之地、和乾旱死蔭、無人經過、無人居住之地的耶和華在哪裡呢。
2:7		我領你們進入肥美之地、使你們得喫其中的果子和美物．但你們進入的時候、就玷污我的地、使我的產業成為可憎的。
2:8		祭司都不說、耶和華在哪裡呢．傳講律法的、都不認識我、官長違背我、先知藉巴力說預言、隨從無益的神。

朋友，保重！

2008-03-13T23:14:00.000-07:00

神所要的祭、
就是憂傷的靈．　
神阿、憂傷痛悔的心 ,
你必不輕看。

May God work through the grief with you through your tears ...

上帝聽禱告

2008-03-10T00:46:00.000-07:00

想起來，我的確可以是個幾固執的人。

我也不知到那份固執從何起。

Especially有關神的事。

有人說過這是堅持，我也不否認 ...

但，堅持跟固執卻只差一線。

過去好一段在「固執」中跟天父在角力 ...

他卻耐心地用愛和一些「定情標記」來提醒我他從未改變，

他給我的呼召也是如一 ...

當在崇拜聽到「著我賜恩福」的音樂奏起，

我的淚一滴一滴的流下來，

因為我知到上帝聽了我的禱告，

也答了！

我向天父為著我的固執而道歉，

也求天父教我為著他給過我的而堅持，

路會好長，角力或者會再捲土重來，

但我堅信天父的同在，

也忠於給天父管教 (ha ... big project!)

Turning back or walking with Jesus?

2008-03-09T17:08:00.000-07:00

What a penetrating question! Our Lord’s words often hit home for us when He speaks in the simplest way. In spite of the fact that we know who Jesus is, He asks, "Do you also want to go away?" We must continually maintain an adventurous attitude toward Him, despite any potential personal risk.

"From that time many of His disciples went back and walked with Him no more" (John 6:66 ). They turned back from walking with Jesus; not into sin, but away from Him. Many people today are pouring their lives out and working for Jesus Christ, but are not really walking with Him. One thing God constantly requires of us is a oneness with Jesus Christ. After being set apart through sanctification, we should discipline our lives spiritually to maintain this intimate oneness. When God gives you a clear determination of His will for you, all your striving to maintain that relationship by some particular method is completely unnecessary. All that is required is to live a natural life of absolute dependence on Jesus Christ. Never try to live your life with God in any other way than His way. And His way means absolute devotion to Him. Showing no concern for the uncertainties that lie ahead is the secret of walking with Jesus.

Peter saw in Jesus only someone who could minister salvation to him and to the world. But our Lord wants us to be fellow laborers with Him.

In John 6:70 Jesus lovingly reminded Peter that he was chosen to go with Him. And each of us must answer this question for ourselves and no one else: "Do you also want to go away?"

http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/my-utmost-for-his-highest/03/09/devotion.aspx?year=2008

Unloaded ...

2008-02-18T22:03:00.000-08:00

Kid: (knock knock) ... anybody home? ... anybody cares? I need help!

Long: I am quite busy, why don't I touch base with you in a few weeks?

Kid: (nodding, sad) ... will you abandon me again like I was once abandoned?

Long: I will not abandon you, but I am tired! you know ... I am running low in energy and I need to be rejuvenated in order to bring you comforts.

Kid: I understand, I am a good kid and I will wait for you ... but ... just don't abandon me!

Long: You got my words! I will be back ... wait for me ...

days had gone by ...

weeks had gone by ...

The kid waited ...

Kid: (sobbing) Long ... I need help ...

Long: (sobbing) Yes, I still remember ... I didn't forget about you ... I am running out of energy too ... I am sorry, I have to admit that there was a moment or two that I wanted to leave you behind just as I did for years, but Our Daddy just reminded me not to leave you alone again ... so I ran back to come to you again ...

Kid: (sobbing) Thank you ...

Long: (Embracing the kid in her arms) I won't leave you like I did before, I will be there even when I have no solutions for you ... for my Lord embraced me in His arms ...

(Long extended her arms for the little kid)

Kid: (sobbing in Long's arms) Thank you ...

Long: I wished I could have done more ... I offer to you my presence just as how our 天父爸爸held me tight in His arms when I was in desperation ...

Kid: I am very tired ... I am scared ... I am feeling hurt ...

Long: I hear you ... why don't I take you out for a walk?

Kid: en ... just don't leave me ...

Long: I wont! I promise!

Long took the kid to Jericho Beach where she called that her sacred place ...

It was a little chilly, the sun blazed its way onto the sandy beach ...

The air was refreshing and layered with a very thin layer of fog in it ...

Long: my dear, let's tell our 天父爸爸 everything ...

Kid: ... will He listen?

Long: Yes!!

On and on, they went on telling Our Lord about every single thoughts and tears ...

God: I heard you both! I am here ... looking up the mountains ... You lift up your eyes to the hills where does your help come from? Your help comes from Me, the Maker of heaven and earth. I will not let your foot slip - I who watch over you will not slumber; indeed, I who watch over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. I, The Lord, watches over you, I am your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. I, The Lord, will keep you from all harm - I will watch over your life; I will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Kid: Are you The Lord that Long told me about?

God: Yes. I have known you for a long time.

Kid: REALLY? How did you know me?

God: I created you!

Kid: REALLY? Why did you create me?

God: I created you out of my love for you ...

Kid: but ...

God: I knew what you wanted to ask ... do you want to hear my answer?

Kid: en ...

God: I want to lavish my love on you ... you were never a mistake ... I will use your tears to lavish my love and comfort upon those little wounded kids around you.

Kid: Hey God, you are using BIG words ... but ... I think I understand what you mean ...

God (smiled and knock on the kid's head): Silly! but I DO love you ... I won't leave you ...

Long: Thank you, 天父爸爸！

Long took the kid to pet shop to bookstore to have moments on bonding and comforts. The baby fluffy kitten was so playful ...

As the sun calling it the day, Long received a comforting hug from a buddy with bubble tea in her hands. God is real ... He sent angel over in times of need the most ...

I squeezed out my last bit of energy for the Jubilization. I broke down literally on my ride home after the late night radio show. Genuine friendships DO walk a long way, thanks for the late-night comforts! We witness how each other struggled and wept for the past 10 years ... and thanks for reminding me that I am actually on the path of recovery. I knew all these by heart, but it was just soothing to hear those words from the mouth of a dear friend.

The emotionally draining weekend is over finally! ... recuperating from exhaustion ...

Glory In The Thorn - 恩召

2008-02-18T21:39:00.000-08:00

This is not only a work-event, but a chance to foster transformation of lives and make people more in tune with God's very own heart.

For I heard of many stories that have been going through the Jubies' lives during these months of practice, the worship experience was absolutely abundant. One prayer I constantly made whenever I prayed for this team was that the Holy Spirit would melt these melodies and lyrics in the things that each of one have been going through. Each and every of their worshipful soul is beautiful and shinning!! I am just proud of each one of them and I thank God for answering the prayer.

A lot of things are knocking at my heart ...

Folks, this is only the beginning of a transforming process. press on ... for God is with us every step of the way!

Stonegrill

2008-02-12T23:14:00.000-08:00

Everyday is a valentine's day when you found someone that you could walk alongside with on both wide and winding roads. With this late dine-out season, valentine's day is good excuse to fill our bellies with good food ... and so we picked Stonegrill. The food was quite good actually, but the conversation was even better :). We are not huge keeners for food (most of the time), eCanteen or public market can basically satisfy us ... but it was a lovely dinner :)

Wii @ NRAC

2008-02-11T17:42:00.000-08:00

WOOHOO ... Wii invaded my church! haha ... Last night, a huge congregation from more than 10 fellowship from my church came out to witness our church-wide Wii Tennis tournament as our Chinese New Year Celebration in our Sanctuary. (Basically, you'd think that it's Christmas worship when you walked into the sanctuary packed with people) It was such a fun time spending together with brothers and sisters I know and with those who just newly met!! We were screaming and cheering for each other. There were Uncles and aunties playing against those from Awana, youth fellowships playing against career fellowships ... and should you think uncles and aunties were clumsy in playing those Wii Sports ... WOW ... you'd be amazed! Hahaha .... now I know how 「入屋」Wii really is!! We were screaming from our lungs during those match point games.

We just had enough time to go through the 1st round of matches ... and that we will have to wait for another chance to play the second round!!!

I basically lost my voice when I got to the radio station last night ... phewww ...

Psalm 63

2008-02-06T23:33:00.000-08:00

As I am preparing for leading a few songs in fellowship this week, I came across this song and psalm. I long for some down time to spend with my Lord ... I do thirst for Him, I do long for Him ...

This became my prayer ...

Psalm 63

O God, you are my God, (yes, You are my God and ONLY you are my God)

earnestly I seek you

my soul thirst for you,

my body longs for you,

in a dry and weary land

where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.

Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.

I will praise you as long as I live,

and in your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfy as with the richest of foods;

with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night.

Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.

They who seek my life will be destroyed; they will go down to the depths of the earth.

They will be given over to the sword and become food for jackals.

But the kind will rejoice in God; all who swear by God's name will praise him, while the mouth of liars will be silenced.

As I shared with my team at work this week, I feel 'awkward' when I was sitting at my desk at home and was starting on my paper once again. For the past 2 years, unexpected events and news jolted my life and threw the norm of my life's tranquility into a roaring stormy sea for 2 years. That awkwardness told me that tranquility is scarce and rather precious. I am used to be in crisis/survival mode than back to life's serenity. It was that serenity that brought me to Psalm 63. I long to cling onto God in my serenity as much as when I was in desperation. And indeed, those moments of desperation wove into the fabric of my life and made my journey with God stronger than ever.

Joyfully Ken and I prayed tonight after our 'tuen nin' dinner ... we promised that we won't leave Him and that we continuously offer our lives to Him as a loving response for Him unfailing love for us. Lord, hear our prayers ...

Slowbucks in Calgary

2008-01-10T09:37:00.000-08:00

I was happy to see a new Starbucks across from my seminary ... but not until when I get in to get my morning tea. I was stunned when I walked in, there were literally 20 people lining up for the turn to make their order. Oh man, it was soooo slow. There were like 5-7 more people waiting for their coffees and teas. Then, I thought it was just 'that day' that it was so jam packed. Ha ... that is not the case. For the rest of the week, I'd see at least 7-10 people lining up to satisfy their starbucks-craving. This is just crazy ..... they should change the name for this location as SLOWBUCKS!

Study Trip in Calgary - My 'kindergarden' experience

2008-01-07T21:03:00.000-08:00

Worshipped with my home church in Calgary. Met old good friends, saw old young folks and got to know a few newbies. It felt funny to sit in the same Sanctuary preparing heart to worship with this community which supported my 2-yr stay in Calgary, changed my attitudes, opened up my eyes. Grateful to see how God led many new people into this community. May God keep blessing this loving and missional community.

The night before the 1st day of class for a kid could be very anxiety provoking or even restless. I tasted a little of that last night, as today was my 1st day of class back in Calgary since end of 2005. Many thoughts came across my mind as I was sitting in the same room that I had my seminary course back in 2003. I am no longer taking classes with my group of cohorts. Everyone moves on into a different direction in where God calls each of us to be in! I am no longer the same person as when I started the program in 2004, as my love for my Lord is deepened and I experienced more of His unfailing protection in my life. I no longer have the same mindset, as I brought into the program initially. The questions that I brought into the program are no longer important as I have much deeper encounters with the core of my being and in His Love.

BOY! Meeting up with my cohorts in my class was one of the highlights today. We still feel so close to each other though we are no longer in the same city, though we took different directions with our counselling training. Oh boy ... Angela brought AJ with her. Finally got a chance to meet this adorable good-looking boy boy! He has HUGE round eyes!! We managed to take this picture together while he was starving and shouting for Ang to feel her. hahaha ... OOPS!

WOHOOO ... conversations with my fellowship counsellor in Calgary have always been inspiring and encouraging. We are pretty like-minded in face of our ministries and callings. Our honest and genuine sharing is nurturing to our hearts and cultivating in our friendships.

My commitment to the Kingdom

2008-01-01T23:16:00.000-08:00

"My commitment to the Kingdom", by Charles Wesley, wrote this prayer ...

Les shared this prayer with the teens and it also became my commitment to my Lord.

It goes like ...

"Put me to what you will,

put me to doing,

put me to suffering.

Let me to laid aside for you,

Let me have all things,

Let me have nothing,

I freely and heartedly yield all things to your pleasure and of your disposal"

At the time when I thought I needed to make a quick sharp turn on things, God reminds me to keep on yielding for His will in my life. My faith is weak for worries skewed my full surrender in His grace. Lord, I need your wisdom to help me to walk on ...! How much I held in controlling of my own plans and desires... how much reservation I withheld ... I apologized to my Master. My life is ever changed since my very 1st prayer to offer and to surrender myself for the use of my Lord in 1998. My Lord is such a good mentor ... teach me to keep going with your grace and with your passionate calling in my life that is to bring people closer to you through Your words and truth. I will be loyal to the calling you placed in my heart. God simples knows me well from within that he took things away from me which He thinks is unhealthy and placed things into my life which can be of His use. Teach me to yield all things to your pleasure and of your disposal.

... wholeheartedly I prayed.

Came back with an new heart ...

2008-01-01T14:03:00.001-08:00

This past Christmas was pretty much a working holiday. I just came back from my 1st involvement in speaking in Winter Conference's English teens section. Ran 3 workshops with them ... on relationships, emotions, and young women's self worth(yes, that means it's a no-guy zone). The very reason that I picked those 3 areas to speak in was that I have witnessed how Satan worked in those specific areas to pull us away from God and from the precious and beautiful image that God intended us to embrace in His creation. Getting to speak in front of young eager souls is always a blessing. I remember how it felt when I was speaking in afc's relationship conference last month ...

Besides the teens, I am very excited to once again work alongside with many dedicated Christian youth workers. Sean is definitely a very inspiring friend to work with and to hang around with (all those hours we tagged along to make our way to Calgary and in the conference). Sean just shines whenever he is with the teens. His life is absolutely a big encourager to my own and ministry. We just had such a good time chatting up during our trips and rides. God just knows that I need to hear and to see the most!! Les' sermons were very challenging for the teens. I was so happy that he went all the way to tackle some sensitive issues that teens are struggling nowadays. God's spirit was amazing when I saw how our sermon messages and our workshop messages intertwined together.

Met a few teens whom I worked with in previous conferences ... they have grown so much since I last saw them in the summer ... a little kid is now taller than me! haha ...one morning, he walked up to me and said ... "Lorraine!!!! You remember me?? Guess what?? I am now taller than you now!!" I giggled and said "Goooooood for you! But my height isn't too hard to beat!!" They are just lovable!! I really dont' think teens nowadays are brainless, as many people commented, in fact, they asked very valid questions about life and God.

After a workshop I gave, a 14-yr-old girl was hanging around and as I chatted with her ... she said that she brought 2 questions to the camp: (1) Who am I in God? (2) Who is God? Her questions totally blew me away right there. I met so many adults, and even Christian adults, who hardly think of these questions. I just had such a good talk with her. God has worked in her heart and we got to touch base throughout the conference and was just amazed in how God used people and His very own words to touch her heart.

Being able to directly working with lives is very much a blessing!!!!!!!!!!! God is good.

Thanks to Ken for getting a new replacement memory card for me before my flight to Calgary, but I didn't have much time taking pictures during the conference, as I thought it was a working weekend with young lives and didn't distract that from hanging out outside the hotel.

Indeed, during quiet moment I spent praying for the conference and teens. I have learnt a new way to set boundaries for my ministry and calling to serve, which I think is most needed in order to march on.

9歲小朋友也能彈 Last Christmas (Kotaro Oshio 的歌)

2007-12-20T08:53:00.001-08:00

wahhhhhhhhhh

A blessed birthday 2007

2007-12-17T00:11:00.000-08:00

Never get the time to post these pictures up. It's a blessings to have these wonderful people in my life. With many many many sms and messages in various forms (haha! hum ...) God allows these people intersect my life in unique timing and helped my faith to grow deeper and stronger in Him.

I just pray that I grow stronger in my faith and my love in my Lord ... Please help me Lord.

彩虹報告

2007-12-04T19:21:00.000-08:00

今天，下午兩時多，當在公司我埋頭苦幹時，

妹妹在網上跟我說外面有條好大好大的彩虹，

五分鐘後，

媽媽打電話來說外面的彩虹好美，

幾分鐘後，

妹妹說公公打電話來叫妹妹看外面的彩虹，

幾分鐘後，

妹妹又說媽媽打電話給她叫她看看 ...

原來，人真是好有趣，

遇到好的東西往往都想跟對我們所愛，所關心的人分享 ...

... 今天下午的彩虹又真係好美唷 ...

相片由妹妹提供

生日快樂 ... 我的 (1)

2007-12-03T10:22:00.000-08:00

實在太耐沒吃牛肉食物，提摩太請我吃飯，我滿腦子也只有牛肉 ... hahaha ...

謝謝妳的晚餐背後的心意 ... 收到！也享受小小感恩會唷 ...

Quote from 提摩太的blog ...

保羅見雪景唔錯﹐就話啦︰「影相0丫！影相0丫！」當我拎部相機出0黎準備幫佢影0既時候﹐佢有0的詫異話︰「過0黎一齊影喎！後面好靚！」好高興地影完之後﹐我倆發現由於自拍0既關係﹐係影唔到後面0既 ↓

真係依然傻傻地﹒﹒﹒相信米爺爺0係度實會話我0地：「低~~~能~~~」

How come our heads are so ... BIG ...

It was a very Calgary-day ... The Keg for birthday, Snow, 提摩太 ... and being stupid ...! yea!

生日快樂 ... 他的

2007-12-03T09:48:00.000-08:00

Uncle生日，就到他愛的店子吃飯了 ...

妹妹愛上拍照，什麼也拍，然後也說：「這個不行，那個太光 ...」

祝你快快買到你愛的相機 ...

wait wait ... this picture was taken in the midst of a spoon fight ... Ken stole my spoon and I took his back ...

明明是生日，點解變了聖誕照？

哎喲，我的褲腳因為滿地雪弄得滴水 ...OOPS ...

Or ...2008年的願望是要長得高一點 ... this is called "Unrealistic goal"... haha

話說，我跟妹妹要拍拍照 ... 笑!!

拍完後，她看回我們剛拍下的，就說：「好像兩個亞婆...」

打落幾分鐘也笑過不停，拍不到照 ...

okok ... 我們再來一個 ...笑 ...

也是兩個亞婆 ...

其事，我覺得要Create memories for families好重要 ...

Something that you can draw back when you forget what love is ...

Something that you can draw back when you are not feeling loved ...

Something that you can laugh at when you are feeling distant and sad ...

Something that can make your heart sing ...

走得好快 ...好快 ...

2007-12-02T16:02:00.001-08:00

漫天風雪，又不想困在家，結過，就跟Ken到Walmart走走看。
真是有點在Calgary的感覺，白茫茫的飄雪，路面就像溜冰場，加上四方八面的太太開車 ... 好像在看花式表演一樣唷！

忘記是跟一位愛車之人行街，我明明想左轉去看我愛的東西，怎料我右手被大力一拉往右邊的Auto department走。OOPS ...忘記了！
林林總總，五顏六色的liquid, 什麼什麼的護理 ...
簡直像是女孩子的護膚品 ...怪不得男人看到車時眼想發光唷 ...

誰說男人沒感覺 ... Maybe I should develop a car-therapy for male clients to help them to associate their inner feelings ...

事關前幾天Subaru仔'tart'不到，我就向Ken求救，他樂意得很為我開始check out the price for batteries ...

在Walmart 見到有關車的東西 ...就用九秒九的去看 ...

等埋唷 ...

終於跟這位奧運選手跑得上了 ...

你已經finished checking out the price ...

謝謝 ... ^_^

阿笨與阿占 @ zoo (2)

2007-11-27T21:10:00.001-08:00

Hahahahhahaha ... The white tiger scared Pan and Jim away! hahahahahaha ... OOPS ...

阿笨與阿占 @ zoo (1)

2007-11-27T21:02:00.001-08:00

Ahhhh ... my favorite friend went to my favorite place ....

My Smartie friend

2007-11-26T21:05:00.001-08:00

Oh boy, this is the very reason why I love Chimpanzees and monkeys so much!!