Tonight, as I was sitting down at my desk, I suddenly want to draw a genogram to help me think ... I didn't draw a full-blown version, but as I was drawing ... a question came to mind "Am I drawing my genogram as who I am today? Or, as who I was ..."
This question shocked me.
... this question means ... I have changed ... my family have changed ...
... all by His grace alone ...
... Then ...
I remember when I 1st drew my genogram in my family counselling class, burst out in tears all the way and I couldn't finish my assignment. 'cause then, I realized how broken my family was and even so ... the side where I had to draw my biological dad's side was totally blank ... not that I didn't want to draw ... but I realized how little I knew about dad...so little to a point I wondered if I ever had a dad.
... Now ...
Over the years, I guess God tenderly listened to my tearful prayers ... I guess God took what I said in my prayers very mindfully ... I realized how much God has done in my life and family over the years ... As least, my dad's side in the genogram is no longer completely blank. I keep asking God to mend the wounds.
Lord, I am about 6 months away from finishing this degree. If it is of your use, please help me to finish it well for Your Glory. I just simply trust that if You need to use this ... you will carry me through for the last few classes.
Lord, I am a year away from starting a new family ... I pray that Your grace and guidance are all along the way. Ken and I will to yield for your intervention in our lives together ...
Father, I am weak, but you are strong ...
Feeling a little eerie tonight ...
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