Missing pieces

There was a piece of me went missing for 24 years ...

A piece that was meant to be where I find could my security ...

A piece that was meant to be where I could put my trust in ...

That piece was gone due to some wrongful decisions in his life ...

There were days as I was growing up that I wanted to look for that missing piece ... 

but I didn't have the courage.

There were days when I grieved for the loss for that piece ...

Years gone by without that missing piece ...

A picture with a missing piece started to become the perfect picture ...

God transformed my life through that empty spot in my life ... a place deeply yearning for love, for acceptance, for loyalty, for protection ...

It was through that missing piece that I humble come before our Lord ...

As God knows that I am above to step into another stage of my life and journey with Him ... 

He simply knows I needed to mend that missing piece ...

He made things happened that way He wanted to ...

Streams of healing tears mended the wounds ...

As I reflect, how much I thank the important people in my life who raised me up with extraordinary love and patience ... 

Although one part of me was missing ... 

but God gave me so much more ...

'cause He loves me and He knows what I needed to walk through those growing years ... 

This has been a Psalm that comforts me ...

Psalms 146:8-10

"... the Lord gives sight to the blind, 

the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down, 

the Lord loves the righteous. 

The Lord watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow, 

but he frustrates the ways of the wicked. 

The Lord reign forever, you God, O Zion, 

for all generations. 

Praise the Lord." 

If Our Lord desires to use His story through me, I am ready ... just show me the way to reach out to the wounded ... My Father, hear my prayers ... 

Thank you to all my angels for prayers and care ... love you all :) 

Our God is in control!

A different kind of "fee lee fat let" ...

This is a different type of Fee Lee Fat Let from last time. I think I am getting the gift of Canada ... Hay Fever. Oh my ... I thought I have a cold, but turned out ... it's my 1st round of Hay Fever!!!! Ken has been Fee Lee Fat Let for the past few weeks and I kept wondering how it feels like to have hay fever ... well ... sigh ... I shouldn't have such thought ... ! And now, I can have so much empathy for him and became one of his companions. I don't even know what I am allergic to ... grass? pollen?

Should I get allergy meds? ... ahhhh ... Hut-chiuuuuuuuuuuuuu ...

That's how I survived last week ...

黑猩猩懂擁抱親吻減壓 (明報) 06月 18日 星期三 05:10AM
【明報專訊】
英國 科學家研究發現，黑猩猩遇襲感到痛楚時，得到同伴上前擁抱或親吻以表安慰，可替受害的猩猩紓緩壓力。
利物浦 約翰摩爾斯大學人類學及生態學進化研究中心的弗雷澤（Orlaith N. Fraser）博士說﹕「安慰的方法通常是一個吻或擁抱。假如猩猩用吻安撫，會將張大了的嘴巴壓到對方身上，一般會吻頭或背。若擁抱的話，牠們會用雙臂攬對方。」她指出，當猩猩獲得安慰後，會做出搔癢或自我理毛等紓壓動作。安慰行為通常在發生衝突後出現，其他情很少見。

___________________________________

Wanted to blog how the drama with God went ... but been too busy this week with work, school and meetingssss ... 

When I saw this forwarded post by a dear friend ... it simple depicted how I survived through last week. Our Lord is good. Angels around me and from many parts of this world sent prayers and hugs over ... 

I mean it ... Our Lord is Good ... I mean ... REALLY good ... I mean ... REALLY REALLY good! 

Something that takes 2 ...

Since I was little, I was trained to be independent and be self-sufficient. I learnt to be organized, I learnt to find my own way out in face of adversities, I learnt to take care of people around me, I learnt that it was okay to abandoned and ignore me, I learnt to cover up my own darkness, fears, weakness ... any signs of dependence would consider as a sign of weakness and would never be acceptable.

These are good survival skills to have and have served me well over the years ... covering up to avoid pain, to avoid reality, to avoid the deepest longing and desire of my very own heart ... that's to be accepted and loved. 

... but as I came to a closer walk with God, I learnt to be more vulnerable and bring the core of my own being in face of my own weaknesses. It was a fearful process, as I have to continually admit my shortcomings and imperfections. In return, God replaced the emptiness with the presence of His very own and the freedom that brought forth through His Cross. I started to learn to let go the most familiar surviving skills that I acquired and served me effectively over so many years ... and learn to live freely in His grace. 

God has never promised that the growing journey in Him will forever be smooth and sunny. There are just times when you felt like abandoned by Him  ... yet ... during the journeys in the valley ... He showed me that He knew what was going to happen and that He was already waiting for me in the valley to catch me in case when I fall ... and I did ... numerous times ...

... on and on He changed me ... on and on He prepared me to embrace ... on and on ...

When He brought my fearful heart to once again experience the love He intended me to embrace, I walked on and just trust that He will be there for me even when I fall again. Walking down the new route with a new buddy is fascinating ... not only that he would pay more attention to the cars on the street than anything else (haha ...), but God granted him with the many good characters that I longed to see in my buddy for life. 

Moving from 1 to 2 is a huge step ... 

and now ...

moving on from 2 to 1 is an even bigger step ...

which requires a much greater faith in Our Creator ...

... longing to dwell in His presence ...

God answered a prayer I made yrs ago and prayed for over a long time ...

" Dear Lord, ... I am grateful that as I wonder about my future, I can also take comfort in the fact that You are more concerned about the details of my life than I am. I thank You for the dreams You have given me – to marry and to have a family someday.... To be honest, Lord, sometimes I feel like it’s not very important to You. Give me the faith to trust that You will provide Your will in Your time.... I pray that you would ground me in the present even as I anticipate my future. I ask that You would show me today what I can do to please You and become more like the woman You want me to be. I pray for my future husband and ask that even today You instill in him a desire to be a godly husband and father. I ask that You would teach him even now how to develop that character. I ask that You would give both of us a purity of heart, mind and body as we wait to meet and marry each other. I ask that You would make that day come quickly! I seek Your blessings on my future marriage. I ask that you would protect it and guard it so that a healthy heritage will begin through it ..."

That's a prayer that the Holy Spirit gave me ...

and He answered ...

... marriage is something that takes 2 to build ...

Lord, teach us as we walk ... all to you, Jesus

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ... thanks for sharing our greatest joy and excitement and thanks for walking with us as we grow!! You guys are angels in our lives!!!!!!! 

... so now ... with the 'when and how' ... wait till I write next time ... quite a few papers to rush for in the coming days ...! hehehehehe ^_^