Something that takes 2 ...

Since I was little, I was trained to be independent and be self-sufficient. I learnt to be organized, I learnt to find my own way out in face of adversities, I learnt to take care of people around me, I learnt that it was okay to abandoned and ignore me, I learnt to cover up my own darkness, fears, weakness ... any signs of dependence would consider as a sign of weakness and would never be acceptable.

These are good survival skills to have and have served me well over the years ... covering up to avoid pain, to avoid reality, to avoid the deepest longing and desire of my very own heart ... that's to be accepted and loved. 

... but as I came to a closer walk with God, I learnt to be more vulnerable and bring the core of my own being in face of my own weaknesses. It was a fearful process, as I have to continually admit my shortcomings and imperfections. In return, God replaced the emptiness with the presence of His very own and the freedom that brought forth through His Cross. I started to learn to let go the most familiar surviving skills that I acquired and served me effectively over so many years ... and learn to live freely in His grace. 

God has never promised that the growing journey in Him will forever be smooth and sunny. There are just times when you felt like abandoned by Him  ... yet ... during the journeys in the valley ... He showed me that He knew what was going to happen and that He was already waiting for me in the valley to catch me in case when I fall ... and I did ... numerous times ...

... on and on He changed me ... on and on He prepared me to embrace ... on and on ...

When He brought my fearful heart to once again experience the love He intended me to embrace, I walked on and just trust that He will be there for me even when I fall again. Walking down the new route with a new buddy is fascinating ... not only that he would pay more attention to the cars on the street than anything else (haha ...), but God granted him with the many good characters that I longed to see in my buddy for life. 

Moving from 1 to 2 is a huge step ... 

and now ...

moving on from 2 to 1 is an even bigger step ...

which requires a much greater faith in Our Creator ...

... longing to dwell in His presence ...

God answered a prayer I made yrs ago and prayed for over a long time ...

" Dear Lord, ... I am grateful that as I wonder about my future, I can also take comfort in the fact that You are more concerned about the details of my life than I am. I thank You for the dreams You have given me – to marry and to have a family someday.... To be honest, Lord, sometimes I feel like it’s not very important to You. Give me the faith to trust that You will provide Your will in Your time.... I pray that you would ground me in the present even as I anticipate my future. I ask that You would show me today what I can do to please You and become more like the woman You want me to be. I pray for my future husband and ask that even today You instill in him a desire to be a godly husband and father. I ask that You would teach him even now how to develop that character. I ask that You would give both of us a purity of heart, mind and body as we wait to meet and marry each other. I ask that You would make that day come quickly! I seek Your blessings on my future marriage. I ask that you would protect it and guard it so that a healthy heritage will begin through it ..."

That's a prayer that the Holy Spirit gave me ...

and He answered ...

... marriage is something that takes 2 to build ...

Lord, teach us as we walk ... all to you, Jesus

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ... thanks for sharing our greatest joy and excitement and thanks for walking with us as we grow!! You guys are angels in our lives!!!!!!! 

... so now ... with the 'when and how' ... wait till I write next time ... quite a few papers to rush for in the coming days ...! hehehehehe ^_^